THE END.

It's crazy to think that this is my last blog post. It's been a whirlwind of a semester, but I have honestly had one of the best experiences of my life. I have learned so much from the journey I have gone through. I have learned about the process of healing, the mental toll an injury can take, and how to overcome it all. I have learned who I am, who I want to be, and what I am capable of. It may sound silly to say I have learned this all from a 16-week school project, but it is the honest truth. I have made so much progress in getting back to the sport I love, building my strength back up, and learning how to move forward as I head into college life.
I want to thank all of those who have been by my side through it all. You guys have been beyond amazing and your support throughout this journey will not be forgotten.

Senior year is almost over, but it is only the end of the beginning.
I will end this post with a quote that has kept me going through it all:

"When you stumble, make it part of the dance."

In class reflection

Final WISE class.... What!?!? Well don't know where the time went. Mr. Reiff gave us one more journal prompt..what would you recommend to another WISE student? What advice, knowledge, and insight would you give them?

The first thing that I would recommend to WISE students is to find a project that you are passionate about or genuinely interested in. If you choose a project "cause it sounded cool" then chances are you are going to get bored of it and find it really hard to get the motivation to keep going. I love dance and this project means something to me which is why it is not torture for me to do it. If you don't love your project, you won't do it. I would also tell them that the first half of the year is hard. It's a lot of work, a whole year of a typical English class in a single semester. Don't take WISE because you want to get out of a normal English class because, sorry, there is no way to escape it. Also, do not take WISE if you think it is an easy way to get your English credit. Second semester is even harder than the first, even kids in AP Lit and Lang comment on how much work we have!

But I would also tell those future WISE students that this class is the single best course I have ever taken at IHS. Yes there is a lot of commitment and time that you have to put into it, but you get just as much if not more out of it. You get to learn so much about yourself, interact with people you would normally not, and look at things in a completely new perspective. It may sound cheesy when I say that, but it is 100% true. My senior year would have been completely different if it weren't for this class and this project. WISE is a challenging class, but the most rewarding.

The weekend is over already!?

Nothing is worse than being sick over a long weekend. I stayed in bed and slept most of the weekend and still wish I was there. I slacked off and didn't blog much this past week so I have some making up to do. 

I was in the studio Wednesday and my dance was looking really really good. It

felt good and I was confident and was 100% ready to show it to my dance team on Thursday. But then Thursday came and it did not go the way I expected. I showed them my dance and they seemed uninterested. They kept

making jokes and then pointing out that I wasn't there all year so I don't understand them. Watching all of the dances I should have been in this year wasn't easy either. I ended up calling my

Mom to come get me early and barely made it into the car before the I broke down. I didn't realize how much I missed it or how much I missed being a part of the team. There was a second where I almost told my mom I didn't want to do the recital. I will still perform in the recital because I have worked so hard for it, but I don't think I will go in on Thursdays again.. It's just to much to handle with everything else going on. 

Unexpected complications

On the day of my presentation (WED JUNE 12 3pm) I wanted to give my

presentation in Kulp Auditorium so that I could actually perform my dance. Apparently this is easier said than done. After getting into some trouble with the security guards, miscommunication and what not, I still haven't secured the location. If I can not use this space I can just show a video of my dance, but I really want to be able to do it live. There is something different about seeing it in person and seeing a video. I'll give updates as they come!

Had a mentor meeting with Ms. A today and it went really well. We set a final list of the order I am going to give my presentation as well as some ideas for the powerpoint that I am going to use as a guide during my 30 minute presentation. Feels good having a basic outline finalized so that I have somewhere to go next!


Going to start the powerpoint and other final materials tonight! Let the writing workshop begin!

Pumped Up Already!

So I'm not sure why, if there is some scientific explanation for it or just a superstition, but I HAVE to have a playlist for before I perform. It has to be fun, upbeat, pump me up kind of songs. They have to get me psyched to get out on that stage. There can be no sad songs and absolutely no music that is related to the dance that I am doing. I need to

Listen to music that is completely different than what I am dancing to. If I listen to the songs I am dancing too I freak myself out and think that I don't remember the dance and put myself in an unnecessary frenzy. with that said,.. This playlist is almost as important as the dance and choreography and needs to be worked on over a couple weeks to make sure it is PERFECT. This is the first list made.. And I know for a fact that there will be additions and cuts as we get closer to recital! :) 

Sunday Research..aka YouTube Marathon!

Hey there.

So it has been a pretty lazy Sunday. I am feeling  a little under the weather, I think my body just need a day of rest, so I thought today would be a good day for some YouTube videos/dance inspiration.
One of the questions that I asked both Rosalie Amaroso and Mia Wise during my interviews was whether they liked solo or group dances more. They both said they they did not like one better than the other, they were just completely different. I was thinking about that as I was watching videos on YouTube and found these two dances. Both are danced to the song To Build a Home.  One is a large group dance and the other is a duet. It is interesting to see the different feel and dynamics of a dance just by changing the numbers of dancers. A lot of choreographing is molded around how many dancers need to fit on a stage and how the number of dancers will look in a space. The different can be very drastic, which I feel is clearly shown in the different between these two dances! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yjdxt2DsVs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFle_pyBv4Q

Getting Dizzy Yet?

Had a mentor meeting today with Ms. A. We had to reschedule from our normal Wednesday meeting because I had a German Ap (not fun let me tell ya!) But we got back at it today and I think we had a really good meeting. We talked about the minor break down that I had the other day and figured out maybe why it happened and how I feel better now.. Moral of the story being that it is okay it cry! We also filled out a sheet that is a check in about the progress I have made with my blog and research and all of that. I think I have been doing a pretty good job and Ms. A is on the same page as me. Love when that happens!

One of the big things that I have been working on with recital coming up is technique, especially turns. Having to turn on my non-dominant leg has definitely been a challenge and I have been trying to find some tips and tricks to help me. I found this video on YouTube and I think it has some good exercises that I can try. I think that the quarter turns and the exercise at the bar are going to be really the most helpful. They are simple but I can see how they will be helpful because they break down the bigger skill into smaller and more controllable parts! I am back in the studio Monday and will definitely be trying them! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_H15mY7ZXw&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1&safe=active


ALSO!

The Ithaca Academy of Dance Recital is SATURDAY,  JUNE 8, 7 pm @ The State Theater!
I will be performing my solo and I would love to see some familiar faces in the audience! Tickets on sale soon!

It's okay to cry.

So there may or may not have been a total break down today. Between the stress of APs, the end of the 5 week, being absent for two days, work, dance, WISE, and lack of sleep, I was 100% completely and utterly overwhelmed. It was not pretty. There was tears and hyperventilation and feeling like I was going to rip my hair out. Definitely not good. But while I still don't feel like anything was resolved and I still have too much on my plate, I think that just crying made my body feel physically better. It released some of the tension that I have just been building up and has been waiting to be gotten rid of. I've learned over the whole process of this journey, that sometimes crying and being in that depressed state is EXACTLY what you need. It can take so much effort and energy to be happy and feeling okay, that it is sometimes best just to let yourself have a bad day. I have definitely had my share of them. I think that by letting myself have those days where you never leave bed or curl up and feel miserable, you get it out of your system and can move on and try to focus on getting better the next day. It's definitely okay to cry.

This song is the one that I listen to on repeat, and by repeat I mean for like 4 hours at a time, when I am having one of those days. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StFfXP4eAgU

The Annual Report!

Before I forget again here is the link to the CMC Annual Report. If you scroll down to page 13 you will find the article of my story and journey through this whole ordeal. I think it is pretty cool..even though my face is now all over medical offices... totally weird. If my picture ends up on a TCAT bus I am moving!

http://www.cayugamed.net/docs/CMC%202012%20Annual%20Report.pdf

Nerves are starting to kick in

So I was in the studio yesterday working on my piece and I realized that I only have a month until recital. One month. Five rehearsals. 5 hours. Let the freak out begin. I really feel like my dance is coming together well and I am starting to get way more confident with the technique and movements that are essential to this dance, but I still do not feel performance ready. Usually with this amount of time left I am feeling 100% confident and ready to get on the stage and perform already. This time is completely different. I still haven't performed this dance for anyone other than me and Rosalie.. and I think that is part of the reason I feel so unready. I have not had any other dancers see this dance, mostly because I want it to be somewhat of a surprise at recital and dress rehearsal when they see me do it for the first time. But I think I am going to have to do it in front of a couple girls on my team in order to get the reassurance that I am used to getting before a recital and before I debut a dance.  Rosalie says that I should start coming in twice a week instead of just once when we get about two weeks out from the recital. This makes me feel way better because it will give me more time to work on the dance and because the second night I will be going to the studio is Thursday's when the team girls practice. This will let me run it by them before the day of recital comes! I am already starting to get the pre-performance anxiety and and jitters.. and it isn't even June! AHHHHH!

Helpful Tips from Mrs. A!

Had another mentor meeting with Mrs. Augustine today and I think it went well! I

got to show her a copy of my solo from last year, which is drastically different from the piece I am performing this year! It was cool to be able to show her how much my style of dance really has had to change because of this surgery and my limitations. We also talked about the format of my final presentation (Wednesday June 12). We decided that it would be a good idea to explain my journey and my experience first and then show my slideshow to put everything in context. We also think that it would be more powerful to actually perform my new solo rather than show a video of it! I think that telling my story, especially the parts that haven't been easy and all the struggles, is going to be difficult. It won't be easy to get up there and expose myself in that way, but I think that once I get up there and have some key events that I know I want to talk about I should be okay. I like that Mrs. Augustine and I are starting to talk about this a month in advance so I don't feel totally unprepared when it is time to present! 

Back to the studio tonight! 

Weekly Class Meeting!

Checking in after our weekly class meeting today! I think it was a good class. We all had to bring in an "artifact" from our project. It was really cool to see what other people have been working on. I have gotten so wrapped up in my own project that it was awesome to be able to step back and look at everyone else's hard work. I brought in a copy of the annual report and shared my article. It was kinda weird to show the pictures of myself and explain that I have basically had my own photographer and journalist following me around. I think some people might have gotten annoyed with me for it, thinking that I was bragging. Really that was not my intention and I hope that some people realized it and thought it was at least a little interesting.

Also, today I was in the studio with Maddy (the little girl I talked about yesterday) and it was a lot of fun. She is super adorable and has a fun, yet hardworking personality that makes her fun to coach. We worked on ariels (no handed cartwheel) and back-handsprings. She has been having trouble with them, but she has been able to do the skill before. I TOTALLY get why she is frustrated with not being able to do them anymore. Nothing is worse than coming in one day and being able to do a skill no problem and then coming in the next and you just cant do it anymore. It sucks big time. After working with her, I realized what her problems were and we have a plan on how to get her back to being able to do these skills. It was hard to be back in the studio and see her tumbling without being able to get up there myself. I was the "acro girl" of the studio. It was what I stood out for and it was hard not to be able to get up there and do it with her. But I love that I get to work with her because it gives me another reason to get back into the studio.

Another week down

Hey again!

So this weekend has been filled with warm weather and work. I feel like I have been inside more than outside between my normal Saturday shift and then two extra birthday parties that I worked today. It wasn't a hard job, just not what I wanted to be doing when it is 80 out.
This week is going to be CRAZY. Between school, work, APs, prom, Mother's Day, and one of my best friends coming home from college I don't think I will be getting much sleep.. should be interesting!

Tomorrow after school I am going to my studio to have a private lesson with one of the younger girls that I danced with. She is competing an acro solo this year (the same kind I have always competed) and wants to learn more skills. Her mom asked me if I would be willing to help her get some new skills because she is bored with the ones that she has and is too scared to try new ones in class. Her mom, who I adore, says that it was different when I was there because she had someone to look up to that had more advanced skills to push her. It was nice to know that one of the younger dancers looks up to me and wants me to still be apart of the dance family even though I am not in the studio everyday. It will be a lot like my normal job where I have to rely more on my words and explaining things because I can't demonstrate anymore, but I hope that she will get some good use out of it!

Let the craziness begin!

Stress is over.. at least for this week!

Hi again.

This week has been super super super super (I could go on) stressful. I have had my AP German and AP Stats final and had been feeling totally unprepared for both. Not sure how they ended up going.. hopefully passing.. fingers crossed! But on top of that my ankle has been feeling a little sore and just not quite right. Nothing serious, just enough that I can feel it when I walk. Most of the time I don't even notice it, but this week it has been acting up. And it might sound weird but I think it might have something to do with the weather. It used to get all funky and weird in the cold so maybe it does the same thing when it gets warm? Who knows. I am definitely not complaining about the nice weather though!

I had a check up with Dr. Wilson Monday. He said that the bones are completely healed and that the soft tissue is mostly healed. It apparently can take up to a year before everything is completely "normal" and ready for full activity. He asked me a lot about what kind of activity I am doing and how much. He was glad to hear that I am still taking it pretty easy at dance and trying to stay mostly on my left when I am dancing. One thing that I thought was interesting was that he asked me how confident I was in the strength and ability in my right ankle. I never really thought about it until he asked, but I am really cautious about what I do and don't do on that ankle. Yes I know that I try to take it easy and do the littlest amount I can on it, but when he asked how confident I would be if he told me I could go full force on the bad ankle, I realized I am still unconfident and hesitant. Dr. Wilson said that was the right answer. While everything is technically healed, it is going to take up to another year before I lose that sense of being scared to try things on it again. He said that it will take time to realize what my permanent limitations are and how to work around them. This is one of those things that I didn't expect when I went into surgery. I thought that once I got the okay to start doing things again I would be ready to jump back in full force. In reality thought I am SO careful about what I let myself do and what I hold back on.

Mentor Meeting with Mrs. A got rescheduled until Friday, so look for updates then!

Updates!

Hey all!

So I had the presentation at CMC and I think it really well! I was SO nervous. I got the same pre-performance jitters that I used to get before going on stage to dance. It was terrifying and I thought I was going to pass out..not good! Once I got up there though I was pretty comfortable, mostly because my mom and Jackie were up there with me. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and even laughed (when they were supposed to) at some of the things that I said. One of the things that I think really helped me get through it was that I found my "friendly face" in the audience. The one person that smiled every time I looked at her and nodded with encouragement..not sure who she was but thank you!!!

Also the dance is coming together. I have been working a lot of the technique and retraining my body and muscle memory to do movements on my left side. It is very intense and really really frustrating most of the time. Turns that I never had a problem are now almost impossible and it is discouraging. I know that I will be able to do them when the time comes, but until then I'm not so sure what will happen!

Another busy week ahead!

Research Reflection Journal

One of the prompts that Mr. Rieff assigned this week during our weekly class meeting was to review our own research as well as a fellow WISE students research. I think the piece of information from my own research that I have found most interesting is how useful those YouTube videos have been. By watching these videos I have been able to see what I like and don't like in a dance and how I want to take ideas I see from other dancers and manipulate them to work with my own piece. The research that I have done on surgery and stage presence have been very helpful, but the YouTube videos have been the ultimate resource for me. I was looking at my friend Patrick's blog on personal health and fitness and he has found some good articles on weight loss and different types of dieting. I think his article on how different diets affect the body was very interesting. It gave a lot of information that I never thought of and I think that those surprising articles are fun finds along the way.

I think that doing research is the hardest part of this project. It is far more interesting for me to go dance or put together an iMovie than it is to read articles. I do realize that it is an extremely important part of the WISE journal, it just is not my favorite!

Public Speaking.. YIKES!

Tomorrow is the day that I have to go to the hospital to give a presentation of the review of the annual CMC magazine. The person in charge, his name is escaping me at the moment, contacted me and ask, because their main story of this annual review is on me, would I be willing to come in an present my story to a group of people made up of doctors, heads of departments at the hospital, as well as possible investors. It sounds like a great idea at the time.. but now that it is tomorrow and I have to find something to talk about in front of complete strangers.. I am slightly terrified. But at the same time I think this will be a good chance to practice for my end of the year presentation. Never a bad idea to have a dress rehearsal right?! In preparation for tomorrow I decided I would look up some tips on public speaking. The article gave a lot of good tips, but there are two that I think are going to be the most helpful. 1. For this presentation I am the expert. I am the one who knows my story better than anyone else (obviously) so there are no right or wrong answers. I have to remember that I am talking about my own experiences and that I should be totally confident telling the good and the bad parts of it. No one is going to judge me for not knowing the medical terms or giving "false" information.. I AM THE EXPERT HERE.  The second big piece of information that it gave me was to realize that everyone else in that room hates public speaking just as much as I do. They all know what it is like to have to get up in front of people and give presentation. They have all been in my shoes and know that it isn't easy, so they won't be as ready to judge. I also think it is important for me to remember that I am still in high school and these people are professionals who have much more experience than me!

I think I have this under control as long as a make myself an outline of what I want to cover!
Wish me luck!
http://lifehacker.com/161531/public-speaking-dos-and-donts
Abbie

PS. Booked the limo for prom today!!! Yes I did need to share that... I am a teenage girl after all!

Gotta Step It Up

This last week I have kind of been in a slump and I am not really sure why. I have been feeling sick physically and mentally and don't really have anything to blame it on, but I am trying to fight my way out of it. Being in class today I realized that I have been slacking lately when it comes to research and it is time to step it up! We got 2 journal assignments that we have to get done this week, but I will save those for another day, today I want to focus on research.

So I went back to my trusty old YouTube and found another amazing dancer that I had to share. She is a beautiful dancer and the choreography of this piece is fantastic. The music and costume are both very minimal but very very effective. I also like that this dancer didn't go over the top with hard, difficult dance moves. It is clear from her dancing that she is incredibly talented, but she hold back some of her more advanced skills and only does those that are fitting and appropriate for this dance. I know that it can be hard to do this. It is tempting to put all of your best and favorite skills in a dance and it takes control not to. This dancer has done a good job at being careful not to fall into this trap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu6lNGswduE


I have a crazy busy week coming up AHH!

Today was a whirlwind. Tomorrow won't slow down and Wednesday I go to Cayuga Medical Center to give a presentation at their review of the annual magazine that has my story in it! I am slightly terrified, I HATE public speaking! But luckily my mom and my physical therapist Jackie will be there to help me through it! More details on that later!

SO COOL!

Hey guys!

So i FINALLY got to see the pictures from my surgery (I am impatient so this has been a painstaking wait for me). They are probably the coolest things that I have ever seen and some of the most mind boggling. It was weird for me to see them because even though I was awake for surgery I wasn't totally aware of everything they were doing. I realized just how crazy intense the surgery was and how much they actually had to handle my ankle in order to fix it. Now I know why my scars are so impressive... they did some pretty serious work in there! It was especially weird for me to see one of the pictures. I won't post it because it is pretty gory and intense, but it showed my ankle wide open and with the big hole in it. I had NO idea that the hole was that big.. it totally makes sense now why it hurt so much. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around it! I just keep starring at it!

I also got to see the rest of the pictures that Dede Hatch has taken and it is really cool to see the progression from surgery to the studio that I have faced. For me it is hard to see changes because I experience them on a daily basis and they all kind of blend together. But when you look at the pictures that are taken months apart,  it is clear the progress I have made. It is reassuring to see these. I have had some great days, and I have had some bad days. Seeing these pictures makes me realize that even though I had setbacks and bad days where I just wanted it to all be over, I have overcome something that I didn't think I could.. and I think that is pretty awesome.


Mentor meeting with Mrs. Augustine tomorrow.. I can't wait!

Weekly Class Meeting- Audio of the Day

Back to school yet again. I don't know about you but I am definitely counting down the days until summer (39 days left of school in case you are wondering!)

Today in WISE we listened to a podcast.

Brian Grazer says there is a connection between success and disruption. In order to learn you have to step out of your comfort zone. You need to be able to
find people and things that will force you to look at things in a new way and challenge you to things you could never imagine yourself doing. You have to learn how to be told no and learn to accept the best way to grow is to be pushed past all levels you have faced before. There will be more failures than successes in the process but it is those failures and setbacks that you face that make the journey a success.

One way that I have been "disrupted" and have had the boundaries of my comfort zone pushed is in my dancing. I had gotten so comfortable being a right side dominant dancer. Every skill was always with my right leg because that is what I was good at. With this injury I have had to step out of my comfort zone and learn how to be a left sided dancer. It is unnatural for me to do skills with my left foot but I have no choice. I have to learn to do it anyway. Another way I have been disrupted is by having to change my genre of dance. I was an acrobatic dancing and that is where I know I can win and be great. Being a solo lyrical dancer like I have become is totally out of confidence level and I can honestly say tht I am terrified of dancing on stage again, but it is this challenge that will make
Me a better performer.

Two people I could meet and talk to this month is Mia Wise and possibly Michele Smithers. Both are wonderful choreographers and dancers and I think they can give me great information. Two
people that I would love to meet, two "dream" people, are Mia Michaels and Alvin Ally. Both are PHENOMENAL choreographers and are great inspiration for dancers everywhere. I would give anything to have a conversation with these two!

Frustration? Definitely.

Today was one of those days that call only be called "interesting". Too much happened and I don't even know how to process everything. It is one of those moments where I wish I could just go to the studio and dance until I forgot all the stress and can think with a clear mind again. It sucks knowing that I can't do this. Another one of the moments where it is easier to focus on how much I still can't do rather than how much I can. We all have bad days right? Right.

"And how does that make you feel?"

I had another mentor meeting today with Mrs. Augustine and it went really well. We talked a lot about where this journey has led me and how it has changed me. When I am talking to Mrs. Augustine I am able to express all the emotions that I have felt during this project and she has really encouraged me to start writing more about what this has all been like.

I was trying to think of where to start to explain where this journey had taken me and the only logical way I can think to do it is to explain how I am feeling today. Today I had a physical therapy where I finally was able to jump. It was the first time in nearly eight.. EIGHT.. months that I physically left the ground. It was such a weird realization to think that I have been grounded for that long. I was so used to doing backflips everyday and I just spent the last eight months without leaving the ground. It still really hasn't sunk in that I have come so far since surgery. Everyday I find something else that I can do that I couldn't do yesterday and when I look back to August and all the months after surgery when all I wanted was to be able to walk up the stairs again, it is really cool to see how much has improved. It can be hard to think about how much better I am when I am having bad days or when I realize I still have limitations but in the grand scheme of things.. I am doing really well.
Another thing that I have noticed while I have been on this journey is that I am able to realize other people's struggles much more easily than I used to be able to. I guess now that I have been the one struggling to walk down the hall or carry a backpack (which is extremely hard to do while trying to use crutches just so you know!) I have an appreciation for other people who find the daily aspects of life challenging. When someone can't a locker open, figure out a homework assignment, or even something as silly as flipping to the right page in their textbook, the easiest response can be "really? come on get your act together!" After being the one that was always struggling, I realize how frustrating and stressful these things can be and how they can ruin a good day. I have a new sense of sympathy for people who just can't make things go their way.

Going through this journey has made me grow up pretty fast. Having so much taken away from you and having to relearn some of the most basic things (like walking) has allowed me to see things from a different view.

Blog reflection and a Monday pickup!

Today was a busy day in Mr. Reiff's class. We got to discuss a Robert Frost poem, which I found to be really interesting and helpful (call me a nerd but I love poetry!) We also got some feedback on how our journals are going to far. Mr. Reiff gave me some really good insight into what I am doing well and how I can further expand and improve. 

A. One thing that Mr. Reiff suggested was that I continue to incorporate more articles and responses to articles in my blogs. In terms of research I have posted a lot of videos, which he said is good, but he thinks it will benefit me to post/respond to more articles, books, etc about my topic. I think this is the best tip for me to work on because now that my dance is complete, I have the time to research and can find some great information on "what's next?"

B. This week in order to improve my journal I need to focus on three things.

     1. Research and respond to at least one (hopefully 2) articles, books, etc

     2. Reflect how I am feeling about my project up to this point. What has gone the way I expected and what hasn't?

     3. Start researching how to effectively put together an iMovie

C. Three things I need to do before my end of the year presentation (AH!)

    1. Create the iMovie

    2. Finish perfecting my dance and making it performance ready

    3. Learning some tips for public speaking.. something I am TERRIFIED of!

D. What is the biggest different between my journal and the one that I reviewed? I think the biggest difference is that I include a lot more visuals. Miriam concentrated mostly on articles and interview, while I have used more pictures and videos. I am not sure which is better, they are just different. I do however plan on adding more research like Miriam's to my blog ASAP!

So it is the first Monday back from break and if you are anything like me you could use a little humor. In my many hours on YouTube I have watched a bunch of videos of these two little girls and they just crack me up every time! I hope this makes you smile like it did for me! Happy Monday everyone!   PINK! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_cbvBLQ_4Y

Two Tramps in Mud Time Refelection

Break is officially over which means back to school and back to class. Today in our weekly class meeting we read Robert Frost's poem Two Tramps in the Mud Time. Mr Reiff asked us to respond to several prompts...
A.) what is the author saying about the seasons? How permanent are they?

Robert Frost is trying to say that season's come and go, they are here one minute and gone the next. However even when the come for a moment and then leave, they still manage to leave an impression indicating that they were there. They are permanent in this regards even when they are ever changing. This is a lot like people who come in and out of life, but always leave an imprint that they were here for a moment. The people that I am getting to work with and talk to as part of this project are much like the changing seasons. They might only physically be there for a few minutes or a few days, but the help, knowledge, and opinions they leave behind are present even when they are not.


B.) What is the author's difference between doing what one loves and doing what one needs? Which is more important?

I think that in order to do what one needs, one must do what they love. We all need to feel happy and satisfied and content, we would lose our minds without that feeling, and the way that we fill this need is by doing what we love. As a personal example, I needed to have surgery. I needed to stop dancing. But I also love to dance, and need to dance in order to be happy. I did what I needed to do in order to do what I love. Because of this, I don't think you can pick one that is more important than the other. You can not have what you need without having what you love and visa versa.

C.) What does it mean "My object in living is to unite my avocation and my vocation"? How have you done this so far in this project?

Dance is a true passion for me, as is story telling. While I don't want to dance as a profession, I want to dance and college and continue to have it as an avocation throughout the next years. One part of this project that I am learning can turn from something I want to do to something I have to do (as a job) is sharing my story and trying to relate to other people and their personal struggles by telling them mine. I have always been interested in psychology and plan on studying it next year at Geneseo. I want to take the passion I have found telling and sharing my story in a unique way and find a way to help others do the same.

Family (:

So a lot of what I have posted in this blog has been about my journey through surgery and getting back to the stage, but I think I have missed a a piece of the puzzle. If it weren't for my friends and family I don't think I would have been able to keep the motivation high enough to keep going. There were a lot of bad days along the way where I just didn't feel like doing it anymore. I was tired of crutches, tired of not being able to do the things everyone else was doing, and there were a couple days that consisted of me laying in bed crying. But my family was always there to somehow keep me going and moving forward! I love you guys!

My little brother Tucker and I from forever ago. He was always there, willing or not, to wait on me and bring me anything I needed. We can definitely get on each other's nerves but when it comes down to it he was one of the biggest helps during this whole process. ( by the way.. HAPPY 15th Birthday Tuck!!)

 

The world's best siblings! Tucker, Kate, Morgan, and my nephew Milo (probably the cutest little kid ever!) Even though Kate and Morgan live in other states they were always calling me or chatting me on Facebook checking in and asking me how I was feeling. All three of them always told me that I could get through this and I would be back dancing in no time. Most of the time I didn't believe them.. but it was good to hear anyway! I don't know what I would do without them!

So he isn't technically family, but Patrick and I have been best friends since kindergarten so I consider him my brother. I don't know what I would do without this kid. He would come over every night and have movie nights with me, bring me my favorite food, and find ways to entertain us without having to leave the house. He always made me laugh and could turn any bad day into a good one without even trying! He is definitely one of those friends that I am going to have for the rest of my life.. whether he likes it or not! 

Now. Out of everyone who help me throughout this process, my mom (or Momma as I usually call her), is my far my biggest support and biggest fan. This picture was taken after my fall at nationals as we hobbled back to the hotel though the NYC streets. She is the one who took me to every doctors appointment, help me carry everything around the house, and literally anything I couldn't do by myself she was the one there to help me. She is my best friend and I would have been a wreck without her! I love you Momma!

Research!

So it's Friday of break and the boredom is starting to take hold... and the result of this has been more research and A LOT of YouTube videos :)

One of the articles that I found is "7 Secrets of Super Performers". Now that I have finished my dance (YAY!) I am starting to focus less of choreographing and more on performing. I have the steps and the movements down, but that is only half of what goes into this dance. I now have to get the idea and story in my head and in the steps and put the emotion and the feeling behind it to portray it even more to the audience. This article gives really good tips on how to do this. A few of my favorites are 1.  doing more than just smile to show the message. The eyes are the most powerful tool to show your emotion. 2. never dance alone, even in a solo. You have to engage the audience and make them feel like they are on the stage with you. 3. Be confident. The more confident you are in your abilities and your dance the more the comfortable you will be and the easier it will be to tell the story.
I really think that this article will be helpful the closer and closer I get to performing in front of people again. I even bookmarked it on my computer for easy access back to it!! (Here is the link if you want to look at it.. which you all should!)

http://www.danceadvantage.net/2009/02/08/7-secrets-of-super-performers/

Guess What!!

Guess what..... I FINISHED MY DANCE! I was in the studio and after changing some things and tweaking others and I managed to just keep adding on and all of a sudden it was the end of the song. I am really excited about the dance I have created and I think it is really good. I am sure I will still find little things to change to make the dance more fluid or portray my message better but there are no more drastic changes that I want to make! AHHHH! I am so excited!

Also today is going to be a major research day for me. The first article that I found is about dancing and how dance affects the body and the mind. There is no doubt that dance is good exercise and can keep you in shape, but it is also a work out for your mind. In the short term dancing can make you happier. The combination of the release of endorphins and the affect of music on the brain can make you feel happier and less stressed. I know that this is not just some scientific theory, it is definitely true! One of the reasons I love dancing so much is that it can make me feel better and help to relieve stress and put myself in a better mood. This article also mentions the long term affects of dancing on the mind. Dancers become very good at learning things quickly (like new choreography) and being able to remember them not only in words and in your head, but also being able transform it from words to actual movement. In my experience this has made me a very hands on person. People can tell me something or show me something and I can understand it, but to fully learn and remember it I have to try it myself. I find it really interesting how dance and the disciplines that come along with dance  flow over into everyday life and can form the habits that I never really think about

. http://dance.lovetoknow.com/How_Does_Dancing_Affect_the_Mind

April Already?

Happy April Fools Day! Easter was amazing! My older brother Morgan and his fiance (and their adorable puppy Mary) came up from Virginia to visit and it was awesome to see them again! Morgan works for the CIA now, but has completed two tours of Iraq and two in Afghanistan. He is the one who inspired my solo last year. When I'm Gone was all military themed and was definitely one of my favorite dances I have ever done. I learned from that dance that having a passion and a meaning behind a dance can really make it that much more inspirational and touching. I am really excited that my solo this year is going to, hopefully, have the same impact and the same effect.

I will be back in the studio again soon and I am hoping to get another portion of the dance done. I think if I concentrate I might even be able to get the dance done. Who knows we will have to see!

This is the first post of spring break...and get ready there are going to be a lot more!

This is also the picture of my at our regional competition where I  won forth place (out of 23 girls) with my solo! So exciting!

Spring Break Please!

Hey everyone!

It is the last day before spring break, well at least for me it is. I am heading to a visit at SUNY Geneseo tonight so I will not be able to get into the studio tonight. I did play around with choreography on Monday, however, and I managed to add on another eight count! I am about 2/3 of the way done with the dance, at least the basics of it. There are still parts that I need to go back in and change or add too but so far I love what I have!
Spring Break is here (finally!) and I plan on working a lot on this project. I am hoping to get in a bunch of research done as well as starting the iMovie. I want to make a movie that shows pictures and snapshots from my whole journey. Dede Hatch who has been filming me is going to be able to give me a ton of pictures and other materials from throughout the process. I am hoping to be able to play this movie before I perform the dance at recital to give the audience a "behind the scenes" look at my experiences with this project. I also hope to play this at my end of the year presentation! I am really excited about this part of the project. I have never made an iMovie before so it is going to be interesting but I think it will be fun!

Have a good break everyone!
Abbie

Boogie Shoes!

I found this dance on YouTube of dancers from So You Think You Can Dance doing a jazz number to Boogie Shoes. Now I must have watched this dance twenty times already and I think it is one of the cutest, most fun, dances I have ever watched and I am super jealous of them! A big part of this dance that kept catching my attention was the glittery Converse shoes that they were wearing. Their dance was all about boogie shoes and the focus point was the sparkling shoes just as much as it was the dancing itself. 

Mrs. Augustine, my coach Rosalie, and I have all been working around the idea of somehow finding a way to mark my ankle while I am doing this dance. We have come up with the idea of tying a black ribbon around my ankle while I am dancing. Doing this would help show just where the injury is. I showed Mrs. Augustine a video of how my dance is coming along and in the video I was wearing my black ankle brace. She said it was a really interesting affect because you could see how I was avoiding the use of my one ankle and how it became noticeable the more and more I used it as the dance progressed. The whole purpose of this dance is to tell my story and I think that adding the ribbon will help me do this is a simple yet powerful way. Watching this video definitely made me realize that someone as simple as a ribbon or a pair of shoes can completely alter and enhance the message and meaning of a dance! 

Check out the video of this dance... it really is awesome!

Boogie Shoes

30 Seconds

Mr. Reiff asked us to describe our project in 30, highlighting our three biggest steps, successes and issues we have taken on.

1. Getting into the studio every week and adding on to my dance has been a big
Success. I have been loving the choreography experience and really connecting with myself as a dancer and as a patient recovering from surgery.

2. A big step I have taken that I am proud of is researching my injury and how it affects my body and how it limits me in my dancing. Having this knowledge and learning more about it has been such a big part of my project.

3. One issue and set back I have experienced is actually coming to terms with how much this injury limits me. I have to relearn so much in dance and limit what I can do. I have had to see my team compete and advance without me. This has all been really hard and something that I didn't expect to affect me so
much.

You rock IAD!

Ithaca Academy of Dance swept away the competition at regionals this weekend and I couldn't be more proud of them! Congratulations ladies you deserve it!

Tomorrow is Monday yet again, and that means weekly class meeting. I missed last week because I was sick and I'm glad I will be back in the classroom. This week has definitely been an off week for me between getting sick and an overload of school work. I think meeting with the WISE class again and having a more definite direction of where to go with the week will make me feel less stressed!

Part of my goal with this WISE project is to get back into shape for dancing. Being out for so long, I was finding it difficult to make it through the dance and have enough stamina. I was in the studio again today ( just for a little while) and noticed a definite improvement in how I felt while dancing. I wasn't getting as tired and was able to breath more normally after my dance. Little steps and improvements like this are helping me stay focused and committed to my goal.. which is an awesome feeling!

Busy week coming up I am sure!

Talk soon.

Abbie (:

Bittersweet Moment

Tomorrow the Ithaca Academy of Dance Company heads off to Long Island for their regional competition!
I got to go to the studio today to wish everyone good luck and to see their dances one last time before they had out to compete. It was awesome to be able to see the girls before they left and to wish them all good luck, but it was hard to accept the fact that I am not going with them. Last year I would be nervous/excited to pack up all the costumes and get on the bus with my team and spend a weekend showing off what we can do. The girls are going to rule the stage.. I just wish I was there to do it with them! GOOD LUCK IADC. I LOVE YOU GIRLS!

This picture is from regionals last year. It's crazy to think how much has happened and changed between now and then!

Mentor Meeting!

Had another amazing mentor meeting with Mrs. Augustine today. She rocks! Today was the first day that I actually was able to explain the full story of how I finally injured myself for the last time to Mrs. Augustine and she suggested that I write out the whole story with all the details on my blog. It is an interesting story for me to tell because I think it sounds way worse than what it felt like at the time, but it is still an important story of how I got to where I am today and why I wanted to do this WISE project in the first place.

So it all started at our national dance competition in NYC. I had been competing all day, I had eight dances done and two more to go. We were doing our big production number to One Short Day from Wicked. The dance was super cute and super fun, but not a whole lot of hard dancing. At the end of the song the "gatekeeper of Oz" jumps out and says "THE WIZARD WILL SEE YOU NOW!". It is the last second of the dance and I was chosen to do a round-off-back tuck (a back flip) as the grand finale of the song. I have done this skill a million times and it isn't a hard skill for me and I barely have to think to do it, but body just remembers how to do it. The whole dance was in high heel shoes (which was painful on an already hurting ankle), and right before my trick I ran off stage, ripped my shoes off, then ran back on stage to do the tumbling pass. Taking the shoes of went smoothly but as I took off for the back tuck I knew something wasn't right. I knew I wasn't going to make the rotation all the way around so I got my hands ready to catch me. And when I landed that is when I felt the pop. It was bad, and when I say bad I mean BAD. I have dealt with a lot of pain before but that was the worst pain I have ever endured but I somehow managed to finish the last 2 seconds of the dance (which was a pose on the floor). Next thing I know the rest of my team had gotten up and started to exit the stage, but I just sat there knowing that I could not get up. Some of the older girls on my team realized something was seriously wrong. They have seen my fall so many times and get hurt and hop right back up, so I guess when they saw that I wasn't getting up they knew something serious happened. One of the back stage helpers ended up coming to carry me off the stage. The competition director and a doctor came over to see me and asked me if I wanted my mom. And all I remember saying is "No she is going to be mad!" I was afraid she was going to be mad that I got hurt... I don't know why I thought that but it made sense at the time! So I am sitting there with a huge bag of ice, in more pain than I have ever been in before and all I am thinking is "I have to get ready for my last dance!" It was another big group dance, this time a ballet and I still hadn't realized that there was no way I was getting up again. My team managed to redo the dance without me in it (which is still extremely impressive to me) and place very well! The rest of the night is kind of a blur. I remember getting back to the hotel and just wanting to sleep. I took a nap and a shower and then instead of going out to eat like we had planned, my whole team piled into my room and we watched the gymnastics Olympic Trials on TV. It was a crazy couple of minutes until I realized what happened, and looking back at it I still can't believe that it actually happened to me!

Back on track!

So I have been a little MIA this last week. I have been working like crazy and then I got sick and it's just been a whirl wind of a week! But I'm back on track and ready to go. I missed class yesterday and will make sure that I make up the new assignment ASAP! But I wanted to post some pictures of my surgery! (Nothing too gross I promise!) the first one is a week before surgery and the marked area is the hole in the bone. The second one was taken literally minutes after surgery and the last two are pictures of the stitches exactly a week after surgery. It was also the first time I got to see the incisions.. and I think they are pretty awesome! Mentor meeting and studio rehearsal tomorrow!

"And in this moment I knew.. We were infinite."

I think this project has gotten me addicted to blogging.. and YouTube videos.. and dance magazines ( I blame you Mr. Reiff!) I just watched Perks of Being a Wallflower and if you haven't seen it you need to stop everything you are doing and go watch it. It is one of those movies that has the ending I expected but at the same time a completely different ending. I cried like 10 times during the movie but have come out of it feeling like I can do anything. The acting is phenomenal and the stories message unforgettable.

I want to use this blog post to share the interview I had (over email) with Mia Wise. Her story and her answers were really powerful to me. Mia is also one of my mom's best friends so I have known her since I was little. She is so confident in herself and with her own knowledge about dancing and the world that I am always drawn to her and this interview only added to that.   ( I know this is not the most convenient way for me to show this interview.. but I am technologically challenged and this is the best I could do!)

1.            How do you approach choreographing a dance?

2.            How do you decide on a single song to choreograph to? Do you go looking for a song or wait until you stumble across one that you want to use?

3.            Do you start at the beginning of the song and choreograph straight through, or do you choreograph bits and pieces as they come to you and then work on connecting the different parts later?

4.            What role does the costume play in the message and image of a dance?

5.            Do you have any tips on how to portray a story through dance or how to make the emotion the dancer is feeling reach the audience?

6.            What is your favorite genre of dance to choreograph? Do you prefer choreographing solo or group dances?

7.            How has your own experiences as a dancer influenced your style of choreography?

8.            Do you have a dance that you have choreographed that you consider to be your favorite? If so, what was it about that dance that made it so memorable?

9.            Have you ever had injuries that prevented you from dancing? How did you handle not being able to perform?

10.        Why do you love dance?

11.        If you could give one piece of advice to young dancers, what would it be?

1.  I approach choreographing a dance like having a child.  I conceive the idea of the piece, I spend countless hours thinking about and creating the movements and the message and then I teach it to my students.  Then we spend countless hours polishing and perfecting it until I have a finished product that I am happy with!

2.  Sometimes I have a group of students that I know what I want to do with, so I must look for a song to fit the concept, other times I fall in love with a song and find students who it can work with.

3. Choreographing a dance is like putting a puzzle together.  Much like writing an essay, you brainstorm movement ideas and write them down in parts of the music that seem to fit.  You then start assigning movement and steps to specific points in the music.  Therefore, you have bits and pieces right where you want them and can work on transitioning them later.

4.  A costume can make or break a dance piece! The costume should, of course, enhance the idea of the dance piece making the message more obvious to the audience.  Costuming can really contribute to the image that the routine is conveying, likewise, a costume that misses the mark can ruin an audience's image of the entire piece! I like to use headpieces, accessories and gloves to give a very completed look to the costume.

5.  Every dance needs to have a story with a clear beginning, middle and end.  As long as the dance has meaning to you, the audience will receive a message. It may not be the same exact message, but if it means something to you, a message will get conveyed.  The dance should really grow, starting out small and subtle progressing to big and strong with movement and meaning.  Just like any good story, it should build to a climax and resolution.  Dancers can enhance this meaning by using energy and facial expressions to pass the mood along.  Dancers can use reflection on their own personal experiences to portray certain feelings and emotions.   

6.  I like all genres of dance for different reasons.  I like the strict, specific mechanical movements of tap, yet the free, liberating movements of modern/lyrical/contemporary.  I like the rules and regiment of classical ballet, yet the power and excitement of jazz/hip hop.  I must say I enjoy choreographing a group piece over a solo in that several people make for more interesting possibilities.  I like changing formations and featuring dancers in different parts revealing each one's forte whether it be turns, leaps, or extensions.

7.  I was always trained by male teachers as I progressed through dance, so I think that made me a very aggressive dancer as a result.  I take a very athletic approach to dance which inspires me to incorporate a lot of tumbling and tricks within my choreography.  I always liked to take a chance as a dancer, so I choreograph in a way that gives my dancers that"let's go for it" approach.

8.  My favorite dance piece I ever choreographed was "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day.

I choreographed it in memory of my Dad who had passed away 7 long years from then.  The movements just seemed to flow out of me and almost choreograph themselves, it was eerie! It was a modern/contemporary large group piece and I was very proud of it each time I cried through it!

9.  I had scoliosis and needed corrective surgery at age twelve, so I had to quit gymnastics, my first love, as well as dance.  I had a wonderful friend who got me through that period of my life, of course we had a few slip ups along the way, like accidentally doing a side aerial in a body cast in the front yard!   I also suffered with various injuries which would really frustrate me.  Usually the injuries were my own fault for not warming up so I had to learn the hard way.  My knees have always been a source of aggravation, but I found that physical therapy helped a lot along the way.

10.  I love dance because it is so freeing.  They say it is "the hidden language of the soul".  It doesn't matter how lousy a day I am having, I can escape into the dance studio and within minutes forget all of my troubles and be happy and exhilarated! It allows you to enjoy yourself with your passion which is so easy to do, since your body is your instrument! I can fill my head with steps and be distracted for hours.  It is challenging and exciting!

11.  I would encourage dancers to keep a positive attitude and to not be too hard on themselves! I think a lot of times dancers will compare themselves to other dancers and become discouraged.  We are all different sizes, have different looks and different abilities, that's what makes us all so wonderful! Always just try to achieve and surpass your own personal goals whether it be to get lower on your split, or higher on your leaps! Don't compare the height of your kicks to someone else's, we are all unique in our own ways.  Some of us have natural talent and some of us have to work harder at it, like anything else...just be happy you are you!  

Practicing! Weekly class meeting

In class today we talked a lot of time talking about practicing and the difference between doing something and practicing something. Doing something is when you repeat what you already know over and over again. While this is clearly fun and beneficial in it's own way, it is different from practicing. Practicing is pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and making yourself do something that you aren't necessary good at. I have done a lot of doing in the studio. I practice the things I know how to do and make sure that at some point they end up in my dance, but I also know I have been doing a lot of practicing too. I can't do anything on my right leg anymore, and everything is ten times harder on my left. I have to practice turns constantly to even make a double look okay. It is almost embarrassing to be falling and messing up skills that should be easy and it has taken me way out of my comfort zone which I am learning can be a very good thing. By practicing instead of doing I feel I am making myself a much stronger dancer and expanding my abilities.

Int

If it's not one thing it's another!

I am just starting to get back to being normal and healthy.. and then my little brother breaks his collarbone at lacrosse practice! The poor kid! I feel so bad for him, but he is in good spirits which is always helpful! He helped me and waited on my after my surgery so I guess it is time to repay the favor!

I am trying Miriam's idea of "Sunday Research Day" and found a really interesting article on listening to injuries and knowing when to stop and let an injury rest. When  I did gymnastics, we always had to work thorugh the pain because usually it was just soreness and it would go away in a day or two. Because that is how I always thought and trained, I did the same thing with dance and this ankle injury. Looking back on it now I know that I should have stopped dancing a year before I was finally forced to and I bet that if I had let my body heal I would never have needed surgery in the first place. But I didn't listen to the injury and as a result ended up where I did. When people ask me what is the most important thing you have learned from all of this, and 9 times out of 10 I will say that when something hurts, you need to stop and make sure it is nothing serious. There is nothing wrong with sitting out for a while, even though it might feel like you are letting your team down, you need to listen to your body. This article confirmed my feelings on this and I hope that anyone reading this will read the article and take it's advice to heart! http://www.active.com/triathlon/Articles/Listen-to-Your-Body-to-Avoid-Injury-Part-I

Well, have to go help make dinner.. something that can be eaten with one hand! Poor Tucker :(

<3 Abbie

Videos , Videos, Videos!

I know I have been posting like crazy this week, but I am in the blogging mood so I figured I would take advantage of it. This post is all about Eliana Girard. She was a content on So You Think You Can Dance and is one of the most beautiful and versatile dancers I have ever seen. I have watched a million YouTube dance videos and there is something about her and her love of dance that draws me in. Eliana is originally a ballet dancer and considers herself to be a ballerina, but she is incredibly gifted in all other genres of dance. The three videos that are in the post show her in a classical ballet piece, that is truly breath taking, a a contemporary piece, and a hip hop piece. When you see all the videos, you can understand and appreciate just how fluid and open her body is to vastly different forms of dance.

I have always done acrobatic solos (backflips, back-handsprings, ariels have always been something that set me apart as a dancer) but this year am forced to do a contemporary piece with none of the skills that I consider my security blankets. I am terrified about being on the stage and trying to impress the audience without the normal tools and weapons that I normally do. Seeing Eliana dance here shows me that crossing between genres of dance can be done, and sometimes it can be incredibly successful! Thanks Eliana!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3l27AKySIA&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1&safe=active

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv6HXUkhd-A&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1&safe=active

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRMHZFvYDuw&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1&safe=active